THE BLIND WOMAN, THE DEAF MAN AND THE DONKEY
Dramatised by M. M. HEISE

The story from which this play is made comes from a very old collection of Indian 
fables called the Panchatantra. The tales were first told by an old priest to the 
three sons of an Indian king, 
more than two thousand years ago. All the
stories are full of good advice, and this one is supposed to show how a 
number of creatures (the blind woman, the
deaf man, the donkey, and the ants) can work together to help each other.
CHARACTERS
BLIND WOMAN 	LANDLADY
DEAF MAN 		1st NEIGHBOUR
DONKEY		2nd NEIGHBOUR
SCENE: The BLIND WOMAN and the partly DEAF MAN are walking together in the 
forest. The BLIND WOMAN
wears a pair of dark glasses, and the DEAF MAN carries an ear trumpet. They 
find a DONKEY wandering alone.
(Your stage DONKEY'S head can be made from a sugar bag, and he should have 
two great ears.)
DEAF MAN. Sister, here is a donkey with a huge basket upon his back. He's 
wandering about as though no one
owns him.
BLIND WOMAN [loudly, feeling for, and speaking into, the ear-trumpet]. Do you think he 
should have a new owner?
DEAF MAN. I suggest that he has found his new owners, right at this moment. 
He looks lonely, and he might be
useful to us. Don't you think it might be a good idea if we adopted him?
BLIND WOMAN. I do, indeed. Then we shall have an extra pair of eyes which 
will help me [running her hand over the
DONKEY'S head and pulling his ears], and a pair of very good ears which 
will help you.
DEAF MAN. Exactly what I thought. You catch hold of this strap. That will 
save you from stumbling, and I'll lead you
both along. [They walk off, but suddenly the DEAF MAN stops beside an 
ant-hill.]
BLIND WOMAN [coming around the DONKEY'S head and feeling about for the 
trumpet which the DEAF MAN holds
out to her]. What are we stopping for?
DEAF MAN. I've found an ants' nest.
BLIND WOMAN. Surely we're not adopting that, too?
DEAF MAN. Not the whole of it. No! But they're the biggest and blackest 
biting ants I ever saw. I'd like to take a few
of them to show our friends.
BLIND WOMAN. Oh, all right then, You'll need something to put them in. Snap them into 
my spectacle case. You can keep
it if you like. I haven't used it since the doctor told me to wear dark 
glasses, and that's twenty years ago. [Quietly, shaking
her head] He told me that I'd be able to see very little with them, but 
that I wouldn't be able to see at all without them. [More
loudly] Here! Take it! It's no good to me.
DEAF MAN. Thank you! [Holds out his hand for it.] Oh, my goodness! Did you 
feel that?
BLIND WOMAN. Feel what?
DEAF MAN. Rain drops. The skies are black with thunder. There's going to be 
a terrible storm. We'll have to find shelter.
BLIND WOMAN. Is there anywhere here where we can wait till it's over?
DEAF MAN. There's a house just over here. Perhaps we can go inside. Come 
along. Take hold of the strap and we'll see if
there's anyone at home.
They hurry over to the house and knock loudly on the door, but there is no answer.
DEAF MAN [calling loudly]. Is there anyone there?
BLIND WOMAN [turning up her collar]. It's getting wetter every minute. 
We'll have to go somewhere. Try the handle.
DEAF MAN [trying it]. It's all right. It isn't locked. We'll just wait 
inside till it's over.
BLIND WOMAN. What about the donkey?
DEAF MAN. Oh, we'd better let him come in, too. We don't want to lose him, 
when we have just found him. [Pulling at the
DONKEY] Come along, there. You needn't be afraid. We'll lock the door.
BLIND WOMAN. Lock the door! What for?
DEAF MAN [as they drag in the DONKEY]. Of course we'll lock the door. We 
don't want strangers coming in, do we? They
might frighten our donkey.
They bang the door. In a few moments the LANDLADY comes rushing up and, 
turning the handle, pushes on the door.
LANDLADY. What on earth's the matter with this door?
The two inside cannot be seen, but they shout through a
high window, open at the bottom.
BLIND WOMAN. Who's that knocking on the door?
LANDLADY. Who indeed? The owner of this house. That's who it is. Let me in 
at once!
DEAF MAN. Who are you? And what do you mean by battering at the door like  
that? Speak up, now. I can't hear
very well.
LANDLADY [shouting]. Can't you indeed? This is my house, I tell you. Open 
the door and let me in, whoever you are.
BLIND WOMAN. Oh, you're the owner, are you? That's nonsense. I am the owner 
of this house, let me tell you.
LANDLADY. Oh, you are, are you? Then let me see your face!
The door is opened a little, the DONKEY'S face pokes out for
a moment, draws back, and the door is slammed again.
LANDLADY [backing away]. What an ugly face! It must belong to a monster. 
I'd better get help! [She rushes off.]
When they hear her run away, the DEAF MAN and BLIND
WOMAN poke their heads out of the door.
BLIND WOMAN. Do you think we'd better leave?
DEAF MAN. No! Didn't you hear her say she was going for help? We'd never 
get away in time, because you can't see
where you're going, and the donkey mightn't want to hurry.
BLIND WOMAN. Well, if we don't leave, we'll have to think of something to 
make the owner of this house leave, or
there'll be more trouble.
DEAF MAN. I have an idea. We'll put some of these ants in the donkey's ears 
when we hear them coming, and he'll
make such a braying that they'll run away in fright.
BLIND WOMAN. Right! I think I can hear something, now. They're coming back. 
We'd better lock the door.
As the door bangs, the LANDLADY and two NEIGHBOURS come running up.
LANDLADY. Open the door there, or we'll break it down! DONKEY [very 
loudly]. H-EEE--H--AW! H--EEE--H-AW!
The LANDLADY and the two NEIGHBOURS back away.
1ST NEIGHBOUR. It's a monster!
2ND NEIGHBOUR. We'd better wait behind the trees till he comes out, or 
he'll smash your house to pieces.
They go over behind the trees. There is a silence. Soon the door opens 
slowly, and the faces of the MAN, the WOMAN and the DONKEY appear. They look 
cautiously round.
BLIND WOMAN. Anyone about?
DEAF MAN. Don't shout like that! Everyone's not as deaf as I am. [Looking 
all round]. I can't see anyone. We'd better
get away from this. I think we've frightened them off, but they might get more help, 
and come back.
The DEAF MAN is in front, leading the DONKEY, and the BLIND WOMAN follows, 
holding the strap. They move off in
the opposite direction from that in which the other three are hiding. The 
LANDLADY and the two NEIGHBOURS come
out from the trees and speak softly.
LANDLADY. It's nothing but a donkey!
1ST NEIGHBOUR. And a blind woman!
2ND NEIGHBOUR. And a deaf man!
LANDLADY. Let's creep up behind and attack them, the ruffians. They're 
going to be punished for this.
They creep quickly through the trees and suddenly pounce out upon the 
others. A battle takes place, and they all
tumble about the stage.
DONKEY [frantically]. Hee-haw! [Scampers off.]
The rest stand up.
LANDLADY [to DEAF MAN, as she gives him a final blow]. Now let that be a 
lesson to you! [She takes hold of him
and shakes him.] Don't you ever try that sort of nonsense again!
The DEAF MAN holds his head between his hands, and looks amazed.
DEAF MAN. You said, "Let that be a lesson to you," didn't you?
LANDLADY. Yes, I did, and I meant it, too.
DEAF MAN. But I heard it quite plainly. The shaking must have cleared up my 
head completely. I can hear
everything. Say something quietly.
LANDLADY. You villain!
DEAF MAN [shaking his head]. "You villain!" Thank you. Oh thank you, very much.
He tries to shake hands with the LANDLADY, who pulls her hand away, and, 
turning to the BLIND WOMAN snatches
off her glasses.
LANDLADY. And you're just as bad! And now that I've taken your glasses off. 
I suppose you'll say that you can see?
BLIND WOMAN [looking around wonderingly]. But I can!
DEAF MAN. Here! Take your spectacle case back, then. You'll need it. Will I 
open it for you?
BLIND WOMAN. No, thank you! I can see!
She opens it, and shakes out the ants over the LANDLADY and the two 
NEIGHBOURS, who begin to hop and dance.
LANDLADY and the NEIGHBOURS [shouting]. OH! OH! OH! OH! [They run away, 
waving their arms and trying to
beat off the ants.]
BLIND WOMAN [shouting in the DEAF MAN'S earl. The ants! The big black biting ants!
DEAF MAN [laughing, and waving her away]. Don't shout I can hear!
BLIND WOMAN [doubling up with laughter]. And I can see! [Pointing to the LANDLADY and 
the two 
NEIGHBOURS.]
Look at them! Oh dear, I wouldn't have missed this for anything!
The play ends with the BLIND WOMAN and the DEAF MAN shouting with laughter and 
pointing in the 
direction the
others have fled.
DEAF MAN. I can hear! I can hear! I can hear!
BLIND WOMAN. I can see! I can see! I can see!
illustrated by CONRAD FRIEBOE

THE GREEDY MASTER 
 Dramatised by M. M. HEISE

 	CHARACTERS
 	THE MASTER
ARAM 				HIS WIFE
IARO (his brother)  	A NEIGHBOUR
SCENE 1. ARAM and IARO are walking along a country road.
 This scene can take place in front of  the  curtain, behind which
 the stage is set for Scene II. The curtain is painted to show trees
 by the roadside. ARAM and IARO both come on to the stage from
 the left. They stop in the centre.
ARAM. Don't come any further, Iaro. You'll have the calves and the hens to feed when 
you get back to the farm, and if you come with me you won't get home till nightfall.
IARO. But I would like to know what happens to you, Aram.
ARAM. Oh, I'll let you know about that; and I'll send you whatever I 
earn, never fear - that is, as soon as I earn
anything. Soon, we'll have enough to pay for all we need on the farm. 
When we have that, I'll come back, and we shall
live happily ever after.
IARO. You can be sure that I'll look after everything while you're away, 
and I'll be waiting here to welcome you
whenever you come back.
They shake hands solemnly, and IARO walks of the stage to the left, while 
ARAM walks of to the right. They turn and
wave to one another from each side of the stage.
SCENE II. Now the curtain rises, and ARAM is standing before a large 
house, talking to its master.
MASTER. Look around you. These are all my lands, but as you see they are 
so wide that I need help to manage
them. If you are a good hard worker I can employ you.
ARAM. And what wage will you pay me?
MASTER. Wage ... ? Now ... er ... well, let me see ... Wage? [He 
scratches his head.] Let us strike a bargain,
young man. You work for me until the first sign of spring. By the time 
the first cuckoo sings, my land should be in
good order. Now, if before that time you get angry with me, you will pay 
me a thousand roubles. If I get angry with
you, I shall pay you a thousand roubles. . . . How does that strike you?
ARAM. A thousand roubles! No! I don't really like that at all. If I 
should lose, I wouldn't have as much money as that.
I could never pay you.
MASTER. But have you a bad temper?
ARAM. No! Oh, no! I'm a very good-natured person, really.
MASTER. Well, then, what are you worrying about? Anyway, if you should 
lose, you should stay on and work for me
for ten years without pay, and that wouldn't cost you anything. Do you 
like that bargain any better?
 ARAM. I must say that it is a little unusual. It's the strangest contract 
that I've ever heard of, or made; but still, I am
in need of money and I think that I can trust myself never to get angry. 
If I can work for you and keep my temper till
the first sign of spring, then you will have to pay me a thousand 
roubles. Is that so?
MASTER. That is so.
ARAM. Then I accept.
MASTER. I thought you would. Let us shake hands on our bargain. And now I must tell 
you what I want done first.
Go over to that shed, and you will find a scythe. Take it, and cut the 
grass in these fields while it is light.
ARAM. Yes, sir. [He goes over to the shed, and comes out with the scythe 
as the curtain falls.]
SCENE III. As the curtain rises, ARAM is coming wearily back from the 
fields with the scythe over his shoulder. The
MASTER hurries out of the house.
MASTER. Why have you come home so early?
ARAM. Early? What do you mean? The sun has set, and you told me to mow 
the fields as long as there was light.
MASTER. But look over there, my fine fellow. The moon is just coming up, 
and there's quite enough light from that for
you to work by. Off you go now, back to the fields, and keep to your 
bargain.
ARAM. Do you mean that I can never rest?
MASTER. Aha - you're getting angry!
ARAM. No, no, not at all- only I'm very tired . . . I'll just rest a 
little and then go out to the field again.
MASTER. You go straight back to that field now, and I'll send you 
something to eat to keep your strength up, but
remember that you will stop work only for as long as it takes you to eat. 
I'll be watching you from my window. You
must realise that I'm the master here.
ARAM. Yes, sir. [He goes wearily towards the field while the MASTER rubs 
his hands and chuckles to himself.]
SCENE IV. The same for Scene I. ARAM comes slowly on to the stage from the 
right, while IARO comes in from the
left. ARAM stumbles towards a log by the side of the road, and sits down on 
it. He takes no notice of his brother.
IARO. What is the matter, Aram?
ARAM. I am so weary that I can hardly stand.
IARO. You've been working too hard, Aram.
ARAM. Yes, I have; but I made a strange bargain with my master and he 
forced me into keeping it. Iaro, I have
done a very foolish thing.
IARO. What is it, Aram?
ARAM. I should have known that there was something wrong with such a 
peculiar contract, but this is what I did. I told my master that I would work for him 
until the first sign of spring. If 
either of us got angry with the other before
spring, he had to pay the other a fine.
IARO. How much?
ARAM. A thousand roubles.
IARO. And who got angry first?
ARAM. Neither of us has lost the bargain yet, but I am about to do so, 
Iaro. He works me like a slave, day and night.
When I attempt to tell him about it, he thinks I'm going to get angry 
with him, and he rubs his hands, and waits for
me to give in. If I do give in, I either have to pay him a thousand 
roubles, or I have to work for him without pay for ten
years.
IARO. And if he loses ?
ARAM. He pays me a thousand roubles .... But he'll never lose. He does 
nothing but watch me. He gloats over me.
Oh, he'll never lose.
IARO [standing up and looking out to the right of the stage]. He watches 
you all right. There's someone coming now.
Is that your master?
ARAM [looking, too]. Yes, it is! Oh, what am I to do, Iaro? I'm so tired. 
I can't struggle with him any more. What am I to do?
IARO. Leave this to me.
The MASTER bustles on to the stage.
MASTER. So this is where you are? Why aren't you working? IARO. Not 
getting angry are you, sir?
MASTER. Angry? Why, no! But surely I have a right to know where my 
servant is when he should be working for me.
ARAM. Yes, he is quite right. I will go back now, Iaro, and go on with my 
work. [He gets up wearily.]
IARO. - Wait! Surely, sir, you would rather have a worker who is fresh 
and strong. My brother is tired and not able to
work as well as I. Let me go back with you, and finish his work.
MASTER. But has he told you of our bargain?
IARO. He has, and I am willing to carry on for him under the same terms.
MASTER. Oh, you are? Let me see. You say that you are strong?
IARO. Very strong, sir.
MASTER. And you are willing to work under the same conditions?
But let me see - I may be losing a thousand roubles by this. IARO. How 
could that be? It is the same bargain. Here
[taking paper and pencil from his pocket], we will both sign a paper to say 
that we owe you a thousand roubles, and I
will work for you to pay it off. Never let it be said that we broke our 
word. Better to owe you a thousand roubles than to
kill my brother with overwork. Will that satisfy you?
MASTER. Ah, that is quite different. I know an honest man when I see one. I shall be 
happy to sign the paper. [They all three sign the paper.]
ARAM. Iaro, I am very worried about this. I don't think you realise - 
IARO. Oh, yes, I do, Aram, And now, listen to me, we will sign another 
paper. Here are my conditions. If I work for
you till the first sign of spring without getting angry, you are to pay me 
two thousand roubles. If I get angry with you,
I will pay you two thousand roubles, or work for you for twenty years 
without pay. Agreed?
MASTER. Agreed!
IARO. [writing] Then sign this paper, too! [The MASTER signs as the curtain 
falls.]
SCENE V. A field. IARO is lying asleep under a haystack when the MASTER 
hurries over to him and shakes him.
MASTER. Get up! Get up, lazy bones! It's nearly noon, and you're not at 
work yet!
IARO [opening his eyes and yawning]. Are you angry with me, my master?
MASTER. No, no - not by any means! I was merely suggesting that it was time 
for you to start mowing the field.
IARO. Oh, there's time enough for that.
MASTER. That's what you always say. 'Time enough for that!' I must admit 
that I'm growing tired of you, and your
tricks. I have to keep awake to watch you, and to see that you are not 
loafing behind my back.
IARO [slowly putting on his boots, standing up, and stretching]. And does 
it make you angry, my master?
MASTER. Not exactly angry - but impatient.
IARO. H'm, I see! Wait, I must drink some water before I begin. [He 
unfastens a water-bottle from his belt.]
MASTER. Can't you hurry a little?
IARO. Why, I do believe you are getting angry!
MASTER. No, no, I'm merely telling you that you'll be very late for work.
IARO. Oh well, that's all right then. But remember our agreement - you must 
carry it out.
MASTER. I remember it. I don't have much chance to forget it. You remind me 
of it every day.
IARO. If you will excuse me now, my master, I'll have my lunch before I 
begin work. I'm a working man, and I need to
keep up my strength.
MASTER. Are you shameless? All the neighbours have finished mowing their 
fields, and yours stand untouched!
IARO. It seems to me that you are really angry.
MASTER. No, no! Not at all! And perhaps I should tell you now that I am 
having guests tonight. I shall want a sheep
killed and it will need to be killed in time for them to eat it. Could you 
manage that?
IARO. Certainly, my master! Certainly! Which sheep shall I kill ?
MASTER [walking off]. Oh, any you can catch!
SCENE VI. As the curtain rises, a NEIGHBOUR is seen pounding at the door of the 
MASTER's house.
NEIGHBOUR. Come at once, somebody! Come at once!
MASTER [coming to the door]. What is all this noise and shouting?
NEIGHBOUR. Your worker, Iaro, must have gone mad. He's killing all your 
sheep!
MASTER. All my sheep ?
NEIGHBOUR.
Yes! He told me that you asked him to kill any he could catch!
MASTER. Go into the house and get my gun. Then hurry over to the field and 
bring Iaro here at the point of the gun. I must get rid of him. [The NEIGHBOUR hurries 
of.] Wife! Come here! Quickly! 
I need your help! [His WIFE hurries out
from the house.] Now, you must listen to me. I am going to get rid of that 
clever fellow, Iaro, this very day, but he's not
going to have the best of the bargain. You are to hide yourself in the 
branches of that tree and make a noise like a
cuckoo. Can you do that?
WIFE. Yes, but -
MASTER. There's no time for any 'buts'. Make a noise like a cuckoo, quickly.
WIFE [softly]. Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
MASTER. More loudly!
WIFE. Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
MASTER. That's better! Now, let me help you up into that tree.
They hurry over to the tree, and he helps her scramble up into it. He looks up into 
the tree.] Keep out of sight. Pull the branches round you. 
That's better! Now, make a noise like a
cuckoo when I tell you to. [He goes back to the doorstep and sits down, 
holding his head.]
NEIGHBOUR [bustling on with IARO]. Here he is, sir!
MASTER [standing up and shaking his fist at IARO]. What have you done to 
my flock, you wretch?
IARO. But you told me yourself to kill any I could catch, and I caught 
them all! Are you angry with me?
MASTER. No! No! Not at all. I am only sorry that you have killed all my 
sheep.
IARO [turning]. All right, then. If you are not angry with me, I can go 
on working for you. I mustn't waste your time
any more.
MASTER. One moment! What was that I heard? A cuckoo! Didn't you hear it? 
The first sign of spring! Listen!
NEIGHBOUR. I didn't hear anything, sir. It's still winter. The cuckoo 
wouldn't be here yet.
MASTER [loudly]. I tell you, I distinctly heard the sound of a cuckoo!
WIFE [from the tree]. Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
MASTER. Ah! There you are! A cuckoo! [He pats IARO on the back.] My 
congratulations! That's the first cuckoo, the
sign of spring. The bargain's over. You're free again, and no one has to 
be paid
NEIGHBOUR. But, a cuckoo in winter! I can't understand it!
MASTER. Oh yes, it's a cuckoo, all right.
WIFE. Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
IARO [snatching the gun from the NEIGHBOUR]. I'm beginning to understand 
it. That must be a very strange sort of
cuckoo. I'm going to shoot it, and take a good look at it. [He aims the 
gun at the tree.]
MASTER [leaping at the gun]. Stop! You bandit! I can't stand your tricks 
any longer! [They wrestle for the gun. The
MASTER falls over and IARO points the gun at the tree again. The WIFE is 
heard calling, "Cuckoo! Cuckoo!" once
more. The MASTER tries again to get the gun.] Stop it! Stop it at once!
IARO. Will you admit that you are really angry at last - or will I shoot 
the cuckoo ?
MASTER. I'll admit anything, if only you'll put that gun down.
IARO. You are really angry, then?
MASTER.  Yes, I am angry!
IARO. [to the NEIGHBOUR]. Did you hear my master admit that he was angry?
NEIGHBOUR. Of course I did.
IARO [puts the gun down, and from his pocket takes a paper which he hands 
to his master]. Now there is the small
matter of the two thousand roubles.
MASTER [raising his hands to heaven]. I'll give you your two thousand 
roubles, now, this minute, if only you'll go
away from me at once, forever, and leave me in peace!
CURTAIN
Dramatised from an Armenian folk tale.
illustrated by NAN REID

A DRUM FULL OF BEES
Dramatised by M. M. HEISE

CHARACTERS
CAPTAIN BROWN 	DONATUS THE DRUMMER 		TWO SOLDIERS
PEASANT WOMAN 	HER NEPHEW 				PEASANT
NOTE: The soldiers can make the loud humming noise, off-stage.
SCENE I. This scene can take place in front of the curtain, behind which 
the stage is set for the second scene.
CAPTAIN BROWN is seated at an Office table, and before him stands DONATUS THE DRUMMER. 
He stands stiffly at attention, with his great drum slung around his neck.
CAPTAIN BROWN [sternly]. Drummer Donatus.
DONATUS [smartly]. Yes, sir!
CAPTAIN BROWN. It is my unpleasant duty to inform you that you are no 
longer a soldier in my regiment. The men
are tired of your nonsense; and I am tired of your nonsense. You are 
forever playing jokes on the other men, and we
can never rely on you .
DONATUS. But sir
CAPTAIN BROWN. Silence! i have warned you over and over again. Silence, I say. YOU are 
here to listen to ME.
You are dismissed from my regiment. The only thing which you seem able to 
do properly is to play your drum. That is
not enough. You are dismissed, I say. Dismissed!
DONATUS [getting clumsily down on his knees]. Sir! There is just one thing, 
if you please, sir. I know I don't deserve
it, but sir . .
CAPTAIN BROWN. Get up off your knees, man. Come on, then. Out with it. What 
is it?
DONATUS. I know you won't let me stay, sir.
CAPTAIN BROWN. Certainly not! You are dismissed!
DONATUS. Yes sir-but-but-I beg of you sir-to allow me to keep my drum. 
I've played it since I was a boy of
fourteen, and I don't know any other trade. How shall I live if you take it 
from me? I have not enough money to buy
another, but if you allow me to keep it I may be able to earn an honest 
penny or two. Please, Captain Brown ...
CAPTAIN BROWN. Oh, very well, you old rascal. Keep your drum and take 
yourself off, but be quick about it.
DONATUS [saluting]. Yes, sir.
He crosses his drumsticks, and with a great flourish turns about and 
marches off the stage, beating his drum loudly
as he goes. The CAPTAIN walks off to the other side. Two SOLDIERS come on 
to the stage and remove the desk,
and the curtain rises to reveal the stage set for Scene II.
SCENE II. The stage is set to show the interior of a peasant's cottage. On 
the right of the room, there is a large
chest, with a lid. To the left of the stage there is a screen, which is the 
outside wall of the cottage. In the centre of
this is the outside door of the cottage. A bushy tree is on the far side of 
the door.
The PEASANT WOMAN is bustling about, preparing a meal at the stove and 
setting the table. As the curtain rises, a
drum can be heard in   the distance, and the sound of its beating grows 
louder and louder, until on to the stage at the
left comes DONATUS, beating loudly on his great drum. He stops, and with 
his drumstick beats a loud rat-a-tat on
the door. The WOMAN opens the door.
WOMAN. What's all this noise about?
DONATUS. If you will excuse me, Madam, I am a very hungry man.
WOMAN. Oh! A beggar, eh? Well, let me tell you we want no beggars here, or 
soldiers either for that matter, or
drummers either! Be off with you!
She slams the door and goes back to the fireplace. DONATUS scratches his 
head and stands outside the door,
looking puzzled. As he stands there, there is a loud humming noise. He 
looks up into the bushy tree, and he sees a
swarm of bees hanging from a branch.
DONATUS. A swarm of bees! So that's what the humming is. I thought my head was humming 
from hunger. Now
those bees might be very useful, [taking his drum from his shoulders] if I 
put them in my drum [putting his drum down]
for stinging people, [going quietly to the tree] or even for making honey – if I 
unscrew the skin of my drum [doing so]
and take them carefully down [doing so] and pop them in [doing so] and 
screw the skin back [doing so]. You never
can tell with bees! [There is a loud humming.] How they hum! I'm carrying 
round a whole orchestra. That I am! [He
puts his ear to the drum. As he does so, a voice is heard singing and 
coming nearer.] A singing voice, too! That's all
we need to make the concert complete.
He takes his drum and ducks behind the tree. The NEPHEW comes to the door, 
and gives a peculiar knock. Tap!
Tap! Tap-a-tap! The WOMAN comes running to the door, and embraces her 
NEPHEW, who is wearing a long black
cloak.
WOMAN. My dear nephew! Do come in! I have a lovely meal ready for you!
NEPHEW. And I suppose there's no fear of Uncle coming in to spoil the feast?
WOMAN. Oh no! He said that he wouldn't be home till tomorrow morning.
NEPHEW. I wore this long cloak in case I met him on the way. I thought I'd 
throw it over my head so that he
wouldn't know who  I was, and I could get away from him. I know he thinks I'm a good-
for-nothing!
WOMAN. Well, never mind about that. Take your cloak off now, and let's 
enjoy the meal.
As she helps him off with the cloak, DONATUS creeps out from behind the tree 
and peers in through the keyhole at
what is going on inside the room. The NEPHEW sits down at the table and the 
WOMAN puts a plate before him and serves his meal. As she does so, DONATUS throws 
his head back and sniffs at the
savoury smell.
NEPHEW [rubbing his hands]. A roast fowl! What a feast! You're a wonderful cook, aunt, 
and I'll certainly do justice to
your good food. [He takes a glass and pours himself out some wine. He lifts it up.] To 
your health, Aunt, and to the
health of my uncle, who would be very annoyed if he could see me eating 
this tasty fowl.
He tosses it down while DONATUS holds his hands over his eyes as if in 
agony at the sight. He walks over to the
tree again and sits dolefully on his drum. The WOMAN sits down at the table 
and as she does so a voice is heard
singing in the distance. DONATUS rushes to the keyhole and watches as the 
WOMAN jumps up and speaks.
WOMAN. My husband! Your Uncle! That's his voice singing.
He must have decided to come home! [Throwing up her hands] If he finds you 
here, heaven knows what will happen!
You know he can't bear the sight of you! Jump into this chest and pull down 
the lid while I clear away the food!
The NEPHEW does so, but quickly pops out again.
NEPHEW. My cloak!
He snatches it, pops into the chest again and slams down the lid. DONATUS 
runs back behind the tree and hides
himself and his
drum. The WOMAN rushes about, clearing the table, putting the fowl in the 
cupboard and the wine behind the chest.
The PEASANT's singing voice comes nearer and nearer. The WOMAN
slips the catch on the inside of the door, looks quickly round, goes to the 
chest and taps on the lid.
WOMAN. Not a sound now, until I tell you it's safe to come out of that 
chest.
She puts a vase of flowers on the lid. The PEASANT comes to the
door. He goes to open it but finds it locked. He bangs on the door. DONATUS 
peeps out from behind the tree.
PEASANT. Open the door, Wife, and let me in!
The WOMAN has a quick look round the room.
PEASANT. Must I wait all night to be allowed to enter my own house? [Banging again 
at the door] Open the door, Wife! [She
does so.]
WOMAN. I'm sorry, but I didn't hear you knock, I was hard at work in the 
pantry.
PEASANT. Well, I hope that you can find me something nice to eat there. 
I'm starving.
WOMAN. Are you sure that it won't give you indigestion to eat when you are 
so tired? Wouldn't you rather go to bed and
let me bring you something to eat there?
PEASANT [sitting at the table]. Bring me something to eat! I'm not sleepy 
but I am hungry.
The WOMAN takes the table-cloth from its shelf. DONATUS comes to the door 
with his drum. He knocks loudly.
PEASANT. Now who is that?
He goes to the door. As he does so, the lid of the chest is pushed up and 
the vase crashes to the floor, and the lid is
quickly closed.
The PEASANT turns round.
PEASANT. What's going on in this house?
WOMAN. Oh, nothing, nothing! I've just knocked the vase over. I'll pick 
it up. You see who's at the door.
The PEASANT opens it. The WOMAN is busy mopping up the water.
PEASANT. A soldier - and a drum.
DONATUS. If you please, sir, I'm very hungry.
PEASANT. And so am I, my man, so I know how you feel. Come right in and 
share our meal, whatever it may be.
DONATUS. Thank you, sir. You are very kind.
PEASANT. Come! Sit down at the table!
They do so. DONATUS puts his drum beside him.
PEASANT. What is there to eat, good wife?
WOMAN. There's a loaf of bread. It's a little stale, but there's some 
milk.
She puts them on the table. DONATUS gives his drum a loud kick.
PEASANT. Heavens, what's that?
They all listen. A loud humming sound is heard.
DONATUS. That? Oh, that's my oracle.
PEASANT. Oracle?
DONATUS. Yes, it's a kind of fortune teller I always carry round with me.
PEASANT. And does he speak to you?
DONATUS. Three times a day.
PEASANT. I'd like very much to hear him.
DONATUS. I don't think you could understand him. I'm the only one who can 
do that. However, you could probably
hear him humming. I'll try him out.
He takes up a drumstick and gives a loud rat-a-tat on the drum. There is a 
loud humming sound.
PEASANT. Wonderful, I can certainly hear the humming. What
does he say?
DONATUS [listening to the humming and speaking slowly]. There-is-no need-to-drink-
milk-when-there-is-a bottle-of-wine-just-behind-the-big-chest.
PEASANT. Ha! Ha! Ha! That's a good joke. I only wish there were.
DONATUS. He's always right. Tell your wife to look for it.
PEASANT. You heard what he said, Wife. Join in the joke. See if the wine's 
there. Or perhaps I could look myself.
He goes to get up.
WOMAN. No! No! I'll look. You're tired and hungry. Don't you get up. [She 
rushes over.] Why! He was right after all.
There is a bottle of wine here! How remarkable!
PEASANT. That's something like an oracle. Bring us some glasses, Wife. We 
must drink the health of this amazing
oracle. Do you think you can make him speak again, my friend?
DONATUS. Of course.
He beats a tattoo on the drum again, and again the bees hum loudly. DONATUS 
leans down with his ear to the drum.
PEASANT. Well? What does he say?
DONATUS.  If-your-wife-will-look-in-the-cupboard-she-will-find-a-roast-fowl-which- we- 
may-eat- instead- of- stale bread.
PEASANT. That's a wonderful oracle. Hurry up, Wife, and look in the 
cupboard. [She goes over and brings out the fowl.]
PEASANT. Wonderful! I wish you and your oracle would come to dinner every 
night. [Sharpening the knife] This is a
better meal than I've had for a long time, and you are certainly entitled 
to share it, my friend. Come, pour yourself out
some more wine, While I carve the bird . . . There now. That's a generous 
helping, but you deserve it. Come along,
Wife. Sit down and enjoy it with us. [They begin to eat.] Has your oracle 
any more pleasant surprises for us, do you
think?
DONATUS. He probably has, but I suggest that we finish our meal first as 
he has spoken twice already. The next will
be the last time, because, as I said before, he speaks only three times a 
day.
PEASANT. That's right. So you did. You heard him say that,
didn't you, Wife?
WOMAN [in a frightened tone]. Yes, yes, of course I did. "Only
three times a day," he said.
PEASANT. Well, don't sound so frightened. He's brought us
 nothing but good luck so far. Come along, my dear. Eat up
your food. You've hardly touched it.
WOMAN. I'm not very hungry. I think I'll see if I wiped up all
that water from the vase, while you finish your meal.
PEASANT. Just as you like, my dear. Just as you like.
 She goes over and mops at the floor, and then sits on the lid of the
chest.
PEASANT. Now then. A little more?
DONATUS. No, thank you. I've had a lovely meal. [He stoops down and picks up the drum 
and fixes it to his belt.] Now for the
last speech of the day from the oracle.
 He stands in the middle of the stage and beats a long and loud tattoo 
 on the drum, swinging his arms about and making a very fine 
 flourish indeed. He stops and the PEASANT comes over and listens eagerly with his ear 
to the drum. There is a very loud humming noise. 
DONATUS. Ah! This is very serious. 
PEASANT. What is it? DONATUS. He says-that-there-is-a-big-black -fierce- demon- 
hidden- in- a- long-black-cloak-in-that-chest! 
The lid of the chest flies open, the WOMAN falls to the ground, the figure in the 
cloak rushes across the stage and out the door, the PEASANT and the WOMAN rush after 
him, and DONATUS stands there in the middle of the stage beating his drum. 
CURTAIN
illustrated   by OLGA VOLGER


